The Lost Boys

One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach. All the damn vampires.

   The Lost Boys is my favorite eighties movie.  And it is SO eighties.  Kiefer Sutherland wasn't weird looking yet.  The first movie featuring the Coreys together.  Everyone has their left ear pierced and a mullet.  Includes a dirtbike race on the beach to some rockin' eighties music.

   Michael is being seduced by a gay vampire street gang run by Kiefer Sutherland before all his DUIs.  The Coreys are trying to kill said vampire street gang.  And their mom is dating Edward Herrman!  

   These vampires don't sparkle.  They're not all depressed and conflicted about being bloodsuckers.  They don't go to high school even though they're over one hundred years old.  The Lost Boys features your very standard vampire rules:

• super sensitivity to sunlight, crosses, garlic, and holy water
• super speed
• super strength
• super hypnosis
• super healing
• super dependence on human blood (none of that "vegetarian" bullsh*t)
• rad dirt bike skills
• greatest weakness: a stake in the heart
  Fun fact about stakes: mythology originally stated that the stakes were used to nail vampires inside their coffins so they couldn't rise.  You could also defeat vampires by tying them in a net.  They had to untie all the knots before they could rise.  Otherwise you could just carry a handful of rice with you.  Legend also stated that vampires suffered from arithmomania, an obsession with numbers.  They would have to count every grain of rice before they came after you.  Oh, and when gingers die, they rise as vampires.

   Oh, and they have bat feet.  However, they're not your standard vampires.  They aren't romantic.  They don't have accents.  They are in touch with the times.  "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die. It's fun to be a vampire."

   This is a vampire classic, up there with Dracula, and invented the term "vamp out," which later was adopted by Buffy the Vampire Slayer (created by the great Joss Whedon).  Like Angel and Spike, The Lost Boys morph into ugly, fangy creatures when they are hungry or super pissed.  It's pretty goretastic and you always have to appreciate eighties special effects.  Shares a release year with Near Dark, I haven't seen it yet which is a TRAVESTY and I won't allow it.  The Lost Boys gets five out of five eighties mullets for being the best eighties movie of the eighties (f*ck you, John Hughes).